reflecting on everything that has just happened

It doesn't matter, nothing before and nothing after. I am on my way. 4 short Weeks ago I was worried if I would ever fully hear the tones of my own music, sing on key, recognize the brightness of a chorus, hear the inflection in a child's laughter. When the vibrations of a note are ringing and they fall perfectly into the track of oneness, could I tell? My left ear was extremely muted, and my spirit was crushed. I had maybe 20% muffled noise coming in. I felt the separation from me, and my connection to the world, the way I heard it. Something I had relied on my entire life. Music... Expression.
I wondered:
For a time if things would ever go back, or if I would ever go forward, my ear, my back.
The dismissive care and recommendations from professionals lead to = more care, take more pk's, and certainly, no 4,000 mile music bike tours.
why can't i walk? when can I walk? I took a few steps, and fell to the ground. it seemed like such a long way down.

I thought about my last full night in the wheel chair, I saw my friend off to the greyhound station. On a side street in Downtown Fort.Lauderdale, I wheeled to the city Bus Terminal. Even the derelicts and criminals where surprised. As if I spooked THEM by looking 'em in the eye. It was 4 blocks away, and the broken sidewalks were in the shadow of the street lights. I had to take the road. When I arrived to the pit, I waited around, a good while for that 9 bus. There weren't a lot people there that night, surely no women. Everyone stared at the wheelchair. I felt strange in it, knowing I'd get better. Envisioning myself on that bicycle riding away north.

And that's where I am, heading north. and they were wrong, but it doesn't matter.
I all ready knew.